Cake lootist dies of ‘inyongo’

According to reports from KwaZulu-Natal, the infamous cake-loving looter, Zakhele Ndlovu, has died prematurely from iNyongo, a condition thought to be caused by excessive sugar consumption. Zakhele was killed by the sweetness of the looted cake before law enforcement could apprehend him.

According to an anonymous close friend, Zakhele’s sugar addiction was well-known, and the friend had long anticipated the consequences.

“Ay’lasti sugar kubo” (Sugar doesn’t last long at Zakhele’s house), my friend says. Even in primary school, he was constantly in trouble for stealing sweets. He appears to have developed a sugar addiction over the years.

On that fateful day, Zakhele appeared to revel in his sugary loot, experiencing an energy surge described as “high on something.”

“He always says he needs some sugar every time he wants to do something that requires some nerves,” an anonymous friend revealed. Some people use drugs or consume alcohol. Zakhele consumed sugar.”

The late cake thief was also said to be a big fan of sugar cane. He allegedly trespassed into a sugarcane farm in 2016, staying for four months and subsisting solely on sugarcane.

The tragic story of Zakhele Ndlovu serves as a sobering reminder of the dangers of excessive sugar consumption, even in the most unusual circumstances.

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